| Right about here is where aliens enter Andrew's body, take over his large motor
functions, and force him to kick the digital camera into Hance Creek, narrowly missing
their true goal of propelling it over the falls some 6ft down stream. Unfortunately, the
killer liquid does its job efficiently, filling the protective case and enveloping all
vital components. However, the camera was designed by a race which had endured nuclear
holocaust in earlier times. Safety circuits swung into action sending the signal.
"Duck and cover, aaaoooga, aaaoooga," the civil defense warning system screamed
to the flash memory, SPARC processor brain and CCD optical nerves. Signals raced through
the PCB roadways, "One if by land, two if by sea." Two lanterns are clearly
visible in the watch tower as electric horsemen traveled to each busy enclave of hole and
electron activity yelling, "The H20 is coming, H20 is coming." But was it in
time? The equivalent of electronic nuclear winter had begun... Gary curses the aliens' action and deftly retrieves the instrument from it watery grave, draining out the foreign substance in a desperate attempt to save the delicate device. The sleeping circuitry was now deep in a coma. Survival was not assured. Historic shots housed in it's visual cortex flash memory chip-set were in mortal danger. The field hospital was in no way equipped for carnage of this magnitude. The final medical diagnosis and outcome would have to wait until the patient could be returned to civilization 500 miles to the south west in the land of San Diego... It is from this point on that the travelogue requires active audience participation in the form of a vivid imagination aided by hand shadow puppets. So set up the projector and form your hands into a sheer cliff wall with a stream at the bottom and a mesa on top. Got that? Now imagine the gang of four scrambling up a wall 1500 ft tall on all fours where each step is made on tenuous footholds which crumble into dust at our touch... ..And so ends the Great Adventure in the Canyon for 1997. Epilog: Yes, the safety circuits worked and the camera did yield it's trove of photos. And yes, with intensive care, the patient revived from its coma and lived on to capture more adventure shots. As proof of this, the vicarious adventurer is directed to the Joshua Tree rock climbing travelogue immortalized somewhere on these pages. |